Its Saturday early afternoon, you woke up slightly hungover from too many Tecates as the taco stand across from your place had a special. You consider yourself lucky, you haven’t felt this great in at least a month. Typically you wouldn’t wake up this early on a weekend unless it was to unleash a post-drinking shit or to dry heave until you felt better. But today is special. Today the Ohio State Buckeyes are finally playing a team that isn’t a member of the Big 10 or the local girls powder puff league. You normally reserve your YouTube viewing for videos like 2 girls 1 cup, before some nazi blocked it, but today you are searching for moronic OSU fans embarrassing themselves in a drunken stupor to psych yourself up for the Buckeyes pending humiliation. You’ve hated OSU for so long you can’t even remember why, but then you are brutally reminded by the Sleepy Rappers – and you thought residents of Ohio couldn’t embarrass them more than We Are LeBron.
I can’t even begin to describe “Buckeye Fan” and “Franklin County”. These are two of the most embarrassing, yet pointedly accurate, portraits of my former state. These videos describe the sad state of affairs in Ohio in general, and Columbus specifically, better than I ever could. MCSnorz looks like he is 35 and yet he dedicates his life to a university that he undoubtedly never attended as Jiffy Lube doesn't require a college degree.
There are various clips of the “rappers” around Columbus; however, without them posing in front of the signs you might as well think it was another shitty Ohio town such as Toledo or Akron. The indistinguishable 20 story buildings in the background aren’t exactly iconic; however, the attire of Wal-Mart Wrangler jeans, Spaulding gym shoes, and OSU jersey, as well as Snorz's red Pontiac, screams Columbus.
Honestly what were these assholes thinking? When MCSnorz isn’t making horrendous fucking videos he is most likely fondling little boys while jerking off thinking of TBDBITL – blowing his load when the “i” gets dotted. White trash OSU fans, another reason Ohio fucking sucks.
Go back to spending your entire paycheck from Local 1562 on OSU apparel.
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to start a blog, you really should have some better ammo than that.
ReplyDeleteI left Ohio long ago, but I guess the fact that I am successful and secure in my sexual preference is why I don't sit around bitching about a place I left in "doth-protest-too-much" graphic homoerotic terms.
Trying to build your self-esteem by complaining about your past is a sure way to be a failure in your present and future. And it looks like you are on the way to being a tremendous failure.
FYI: the Sleepy Rappers never claimed to be rappers. I saw them on the local news. Snorz is a schoolteacher that made those videos for his school as an Ohio project for jr. high students. Some of those kids in the videos are students from where he teaches. He doesn't "think" he's a rapper and has never claimed to be. He will be the first one to tell you he's a teacher that made a music video for his students. He got the name from the fact that several students come to school sleepy and seemingly only wanna grow up to be rappers. Hence the name, Sleepy Rappers. Also, He also has a Master's Degree.
ReplyDeleteBefore you go doggin' other people, maybe you should get your facts straight first.
I like the fact that this loser took the time to make a blog on this website dedicated to how much he hates Ohio. Obviously he hasn't improved his life since he left if he takes the time to sit a write a blog trying to take out the frustration of his life failures on a state.
ReplyDeleteGet a life, idiot. If you don't like something, then leave it alone. You only make yourself look pitiful and whiny. I don't like oysters, but I don't bitch and complain to as many people as I can reach through the internet.
Oh and by the way... OSU schedules games against "scrub" teams instead of having a bye week. It is how coach Tressel keeps his players from losing focus and gives them more in-game experience. And OSU destroyed Miami the 2nd week of the season, while other top 25 teams were still playing those "scrub" teams. You can single out OSU fans as being stupid, crazy, overzealous, cocky, whatever... But the fact is, all big schools have the same type of fans. I lived in TX and saw WAY more crazy Cowboys fans, and most were grown men. I spent many weekends in Austin, and there are crazy Longhorn fans as well. Why hate on people for being passionate about their team?
I feel bad for you. You need a better hobby.
I love this blog. Why did you stop? You've really hit the nail on the head in describing this moronic state.
ReplyDeleteI agree! Keep up the good work!
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MCSnorz was a 5th grade teacher at etna elementary in pataskala,ohio he was never my 5th grade teacher but..................
ReplyDeleteHe's the best OSU FAN I KNOW OF.
SO SUCK ON THAT